Death and Dying--kids, family, and grief

How do we address the realities of the loss of a loved one with our children? Research on addressing the reality of death shows that including kids in the process allows for healthier outcomes as each child navigates the death of a loved one in his or her own way. In our experience with kids and teens on the Autism spectrum, we've seen many responses that change over time as the reality of the person's death sinks in. Some kids want to talk about it, some kids get physically sick, and some use drawing, music, or a creative outlet to process and grieve. Check out these links and resources. There are support groups in each state, and you can find them by searching for "grief support for children" followed by your city or state.

1. Radio program from Oct. 2012 with a variety of callers sharing their process of grieving:

www.npr.org

In the aftermath of death, many adults struggle with how to talk to kids while dealing with their own grief. Often, the instinct is to protect children from pain and loss. That can sometimes leave kids out of the family grieving process, which can leave them feeling lonely and misunderstood.

2. Radio program from May 2020. We like the analogy of kids eating an apple and how kids take a few bites, take some time, and then come back to it. Excellent list of tips along with snippets from Sesame Street dealing with the loss of Mr. Hooper.

www.npr.org

Whether it's a family pet or a loved one, every child will experience a death at some point — and their parents will likely struggle to explain it. We revisit the Mr. Hooper episode of Sesame Street, which provides a master class in talking about death and grief with young children.

3. The Dougy Center in Portland, OR "The Right Place When Nothing Feels Right. At Dougy Center, you will find support, resources, and connection before and after death"

4. The Sharing Place, Salt Lake City, UT Grief Support for Children. We've spoken with them about Autistic kids and some of the challenges with communicating strong feelings and emotions in times of grieving. We like their honest and caring approach to death as well as their celebrations on the Day of the Dead.

5. When You Die podcast, interview with Jill MacFarlane, program director of The Sharing Place.

whenyoudie.org

Since 1993, The Sharing Place in Salt Lake City has had a mission to “provide a safe and caring environment for grieving children, teens, and their families to share their feelings while healing themselves.” Program director Jill MacFarlane talks to us about the value of this process and how telling the truth is the most important thing you can do when helping kids deal with their grief

6. Angel on My Shoulder, WI whose mission is "Offering in-kind support for individuals and families living with or affected by cancer through granting special requests." They offer family support, outreach, and camps for kids and teens affected with the loss of a loved one by cancer.

7. Letters to the editor of the New York Times regarding grief and loss that share commonalities regarding the process of loss.

8. Bereaved Parents of Madison, Inc. This WI based group offers in-person support from parents who've been there. We also really like their list of links related to loss of a child during and after pregnancy.

www.bereavedparentsofmadison.com

Parents from our group are "On Call" and ready to assist families in any way possible. That might look different for each family, but some of there services that we can provide are: A HUGS Volunteer...