This tool to initiate conversation can be used at the dinner table as a way to reflect on how a neurodiverse or autistic child's day or week went, and it can help the process of recognizing what's gone well, what didn't go well, and what opportunity might lead to a positive situation in the future.
Rose, Thorn, Bud--The rose is something that went well the past day or week, the thorn is something that didn't go well, and the bud is some situation with potential to go well. You might feel that doing this every dinner-time meal is excessive, so use it once a week maybe on a Saturday or Sunday meal to reflect on the past (rose, thorn) and think about the future (bud). We encourage parents to model rose, thorn, bud by going first especially with younger kids, and it shows that not everything in life is rosy (pun intended). Acknowledging the ups and downs in life models the reality that hardships occur for all of us vs. only focusing on the positive and pretending that the negatives don't exist.
We've seen rose, thorn, & bud help parents whose teenage kids don't share much, who, when the parent asks, "How was school today?" respond with "Fine." This tool helps all of us at the dinner table think about the past day or week, and share more detail with family members about something that we remember. We've also used it in weekly teacher meetings to start off the meeting by reflecting on the previous week and what occurred in classes/field trips/assembly. It worked as a way for teachers to share specifics about their classes or students and allowed other teachers to hear what occurred for their colleagues.
Try rose, thorn, & bud at the dinner table or family meeting. There is no right answer when kids or adults share their thoughts on a rose, thorn, or bud. This tool focuses on the process of reflecting and sharing. Good luck!
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