While watching the movie Ezra, I couldn't help but think of the parallel lives of parents of children I've taught. Wading through the misunderstandings, good intentions, and consequences of parenting a child on the Autism Spectrum is not a sprint or a marathon, it's an ultramarathon--this movie gives a snippet of that journey.
The pre-teen years, where the introduction of metaphors, idioms, and context clues demands the ability to read between the lines, pick up on nuance, and understand place and time, are excruciating to navigate for eleven-year-old autistic boy, Ezra. This film's two triggering events, being expelled from school and Ezra's dad's physical altercation, cast the characters down paths that seem to spin out of control. The film does a great job painting the results of past trials and failures of Ezra and his family, as we see an exhausted mom and dad pushed to divorce by internal family squabbles and the pressure of the outside world as they struggle to carve out a life for their son.
Ezra's quirky mannerisms are spot-on (a great job portraying an autistic pre-teen), as his mom and dad are driven by love and good intentions but burdened by the desperation that leads to rigid thinking and selfish actions in an attempt to salvage any solutions through the ups and downs of the movie. Ezra, a unique leaf in the stream, ricochets off mom and dad's choices with the ennui of a detached observer, his focus on food, conflict avoidance, and sensory issues. His world-weary demeanor suggests a Just let me make it through the day perspective as he reacts to events around him.
There are moments in the film where each character is introspective and the pace slows enough to divulge Ezra's parents' hopes and dreams for their child, all nice things for me to see as a former administrator at a school for kids on the Autism Spectrum. It also reminds me of the quote "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" as parent decisions made in the emotional spur-of-the-moment lead to unanticipated hurdles that could have been avoided by pausing, slowing down, and collaborating. Ezra's granddad offers us glimpses into his own parenting, as family and friends do their best to help while minimizing collateral damage.
The plot of the film reflects a reality I've seen in hundreds of families--we love our son unconditionally and we do our best despite our faults. This thread of hope gives viewers a hint that things will turn out, even as life falls apart. I found myself saying Oh No!!! at least a dozen times, mostly at Ezra's dad. The rawness of dad's emotional wounds combined with his impulsivity amplifies the severity of obstacles the family has to face.
I strongly recommend this movie to anyone interested in the Neurodiverse population, Autism Spectrum, or parenting in general. The film is rated R due to language and marijuana use (unless you think they're smoking tobacco in a bong...). The film left me thinking about kids I taught hours after I finished watching it. Great movie! And I look forward to seeing more portrayals of the challenges of supporting neurodiverse kids and their families.
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